Farewell

The passing of my best friend's father brings me alot closer to what life in this earth is all about.

There is only so much one can do, so choose whatever that matters to you and do it. Above all, family and friends and the meaning of life is what matters at the of our journey when we recollect what we have done.

I pray for the soul to go to heaven quickly and that blessings will be showered on the Poon family.

We've missed the chance to alleviate poverty

Not too long ago, we have too many bailouts and too many banks and firms that are too big too fail, thus resulting in many stimulus plans.

If all these stimulus plans can be given to the poorest nations, I'm sure we can go about to bring the dream of equality back into reality again. Alas, the rich are too rich to fail, and the poor are too poor to be helped.

There goes the opportunity that we could just try to reduce the gap betweens nation, but people are just concerned about what they have lost, and even when they have lost, they are still so much blessed as compared to the 1 billion of people out there who is dying because of poverty.

Tough luck, lets wait for the next depression and see if someone will try to make things right.

Economy is the aggregate total of our lives

Not too long ago, I was enjoying what other the economist turned it as the "good times", then because of so many bad loans and credits that were swept under the carpet, overnight in May '09(albeit a little late - one year later than the world's crisis), I went from a hero to zero. I felt my worth was comparable to icelandic kronos. The world actually crashed on me. Or so I thought....

Emotional stimulus (from friends and family) was given, and I was able to tide the tough times in a short span of time. Then came the promise, the dream and the reality, I thought, this is it (no pun intended for MJ), I could actually do something different and change something in this place that we so feverently called our home. It was definitely an audacious attempt, the one that is similiar to that of the Obama's campaigne - Change and Hope. I have these 2. My world was riding on these 2, and it seemingly looked like it is heading towards and upwards.

Blind faith, or so they were called.

Recently, there is a spike in terms of the volatility in my life again. It actually went DOWN for a good whole 3 weeks. And definitely it seems like it is going to take a beating. And I was even thinking about performing a LB (Lehman's bailout). Thank God, he made plans.

I was so desperate in my life - twice. The first was for my O level results, I need to do well. The feeling of finally making my parents feel that regardless of how intellectually mal-function I am, I'm still able to do move on to the next stage of the education system. The 2nd time, was 2 weeks ago. Just that this time, I know I'm really desperate and I know HE is equally desperate to spend some time with me. I walked in a place that I so proud to spend almost half my life in. Spent some quiet and meaningful time. I felt peace within. Maybe people will say is the psychological effect. I beg to differ, I really felt like there was someone THERE being THERE for me.

Alright, if it wasn't convincing, just last week, I experienced life's greatest gift, which HE sent the message to us in His own ways and His own time. It was really amazing. Just like I never pay attention to sermon as I usually cannot understand the priest's diction. But last week, the sermon just struck me. Making me feel that things do happen for a reason. And yes, it was a way that god wanted me to feel, and the things that happened after. I had dinner to celebrate my dad's 60th birthday, and the family was for the first time having dinner and talking over the dinner. In the midst of the storm, I actually felt peace, like as if you know what you are actually heading for.

Then war started the beginning of this week, and today I saw the sun smiling back at me. Isn't all these so unreal? Like the nature of the volatility of life??

We all know that we will see the sun and the rainbow after the storm. I'm just hoping that I will be able to survive through it, the rest is not important.

But still, at the end of the day, I'm only left with one thing. Faith.

Sorry

Hey guys, I'm so sorry if I sounded more busy than usual. Please forgive me, really filled to the hair. Sorry if I have no time to meet up for drinks or makan, will definitely make it up when i'm more settled.

10q for understanding. :)

You Can't Do What You Want By Doing Something Else

by Bruce Eckel

And it's dense, by which I mean not fluffy but packed with insight. He spent years researching and developing this book, and his own struggle is woven into it. Indeed, it's not about formulas and answers, but about the struggle itself.

One observation set me back. There are lots of people who wanted to do one thing but then got "practical" and did something else "first." The idea was that they'd be successful and sock away money doing the practical thing, and after that they could go back to the thing they loved. Bronson was sure that, among the hundreds of people that he interviewed, someone would actually have been successful with this strategy. It sounds so reasonable, after all.

But he encountered exactly zero people who pulled it off. Everyone who tried got sucked into the "practical" career and were never able to extract themselves from it. Too comfortable, too many expectations from friends and family, too easy just to keep doing what you're doing.

Although we admire when someone can do something unique and creative, society is set up to resist such attempts. Your parents, with all the love and best intentions, will urge you to do something that "makes a good living." Your friends and coworkers resist behaviors that might take you away from them, and will tell you stories of how this or that person tried and failed. And hardest of all, when you are ready to make your leap of faith, the temptations appear; the tremendous opportunities that for some reason only come out of the woodwork when you are ready to walk out the door.

There's a quote that appears again and again in various forms: "close one door, another opens." It seems like magical thinking until you see it happen. And it only happens when you don't leave the door partially open, but instead firmly close it. For some reason, being certain that you're ready to move on does cause some kind of magic to happen, and I don't know why.

This doesn't mean it will be easy. But your struggles will be towards happiness rather than trying to avoid some litany of unpleasant things as most people do -- and most people (over 80% in this country, it appears) are unhappy in their careers. And knowing that you are moving towards something that you love (even if you don't yet know what it is) seems more likely to make you happy than just marking time in a job, waiting for something to happen so you can start doing what you really want.

The test

I guess this would probably be one of the greatest test that I experienced in my life thus far.

I hope and pray that I dun and I won't disappoint. May God's grace be with me.

Turn of Events

Like in real life, things dun happen the way you want them to turn out. And so recently, there are a couple of things that happen, and I'm sure it is for the better or at least a great lesson learnt. :)

I have just recently left my job which I was about to complete my 2 years there. There were both push and pull factors which I prefer to discuss on a personal level only. As for my former employer, I only have good things to say about them, and how much I will miss the them. Nonetheless, in life, to move on, we must!!!

Challenges ahead, and I'm relishing every moment to take them on. :)

So Morbid

I think I did mention that a couple of weeks ago, i dreamt abt death - My death. I didn't see how I die in the dream, but I was the conscious during the process of death. I felt myself compressed and suddenly let loose, the feeling is like coming out from a stuffed room. It was so surreal. I wonder if this is a subtle hint for what it is to come.

The feeling was comparable when I passed out when I was playing a game of "oxygen deprivation" back in the army. However, the "oxygen deprivation" activity brought me to a state of High. Whereas, this dream....make me feel that it is all REAL. I can totally feel death. Death itself is defiitely not the end, the conscious will live on, and so does my what religion preaches, your soul lives on too.

And my friends are asking me...why m i talking abt death???