My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...

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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...

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When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her some place expensive... So, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...

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After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
And then the fight started...

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion. I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...

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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...

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A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....

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I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And then the fight started....

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My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday
And then the fight started.....

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A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy crap! That must be my husband!'
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
And then the fight started.....

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Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
And then the fight started...

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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....

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My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....

S'pore PR has visited 193 countries in 33 years

How long does it take to visit all the countries in the world?

For Singaporean permanent resident Phillips Connor, his visit to 193 countries took 33 years.

Last September, the 50-year-old director of interior design at architecture firm Aedas finally achieved his goal in a two-week trip through Western African countries such as Liberia, Sierra Leone and Senegal.

His final stop was former Portuguese colony Guinea Bissau.

'I was elated but I also felt some loss of focus. This goal has been with me for so long and would no longer be such a large part of my life. What's next?'

Visiting every country has been his dream since he was a teen.

'I told myself I would accomplish this before I turned 30; then I got a career and I pushed it back to 40. Then I got married and had a family and pushed it back further,' he said.

'Three years ago, I put my foot down and decided - it's before I turned 50 or nothing,' added the man who is married to Singaporean Linda Locke, 55, the CEO and creative director of Godmother Consulting. They have a 12-year-old son.

Mr Connor's passion for globetrotting was first ignited during a trip to Egypt with his parents in 1975 when he was 16.

Said the Chicago native: 'Because my parents grew up during the Great Depression, they were very frugal with money and did not believe in taking children on trips when they were too young to remember anything.'

He moved to Singapore in 1984 after a job opportunity to establish the design department of a furniture company came up. It was his first time in Asia, he recalled, and he has stayed since.

Missed flight connections, travel sickness and unexpected extreme weather do not faze the avid traveller.

'To me, the pursuit of knowledge is the most important aspect of life. I travel to fuel my need to know. My travels enlarge the frame of reference I use in life and are an inspiration for some of my creative pursuits,' said Mr Connor, who also runs his own furniture company, Space Partnership.

His pre-war Tanjong Pagar home is a museum of sorts, displaying masks and sculptures from various destinations, including his most prized possession, a 2m-tall tribal dance mask shipped home from the Sepik River region in Papua New Guinea.

He declined to reveal the total amount of money spent on travelling and said he does not believe that rough-and-tumble backpacker trips are the only true form of travel.

'I believe in arriving at a place in your best, relaxed state so you can be open-minded and comfortable enough to interact positively with the people around you,' he said.

Mr Connor said future trips will focus on more 'experiential travel', such as outdoor trips for father-and-son bonding, or activity-focused trips back to his favourite destinations and festivals.

Isn't it amazing that George Carlin - comedian of the 70's and 80's - could write something so very eloquent...and so very appropriate.

A Message by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.