A W@lK +♡ R3mEM8eR

What are words???

2011-08-29T02:42:00.002+08:00

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them

What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't

to be able to know what you want is a gift!

2011-03-31T03:33:00.000+08:00

I'm having my 4th ICT which is one year away from my MR. Can't wait for the day to come. I will definitely miss this family, but life goes on.

Can't help but to feel enlightened during my reflection. I really have a lot of time on my side. A little too much for my liking though.

There is so many things in life to feel happy and excited about and yet we always put find disappointments in so many things around us. There is so many things to rejoice abt, to look forward to, and anticipate.

I think now I really know what I want in my life. And I just want the passage of time to bring me there and I will totally embrace the processes as well.

happy lunar new year!!!

2011-02-05T15:22:00.000+08:00

I'm not late in posting my new year greetings. This year I just feel lunar new year is more of a new year to me than the much celebrated new year around the world. The past year has been....blessed!!!

Really feel that I am so blessed regardless of whatever that is happening. I wouldn't complaint about my life or anything.

The past one year has been exciting and enriching as I ventured into my entrepreneurial journey. As the chinese saying goes "is start a business is already not easy, to maintain one is even more challenging".

I have learnt how to be modest when succeed and persevere when failed. Business has been challenging, but it is not as tough to help friends understand what I do for a living.

My resolution for this year would be to LIVE in the NOW and to find a DIRECTION with an ENDSTATE in mind. Easy to say, hard to do. I wished to also stop procrastinating. Also to get hitched (just joking, it will take a lot to give up on my singlehood).

They say this year is for the DOGs and RED is the colour. Totally agreed!!! Testified by my comeback windfall from mj and blackjack. I hope this will not be a prophecy of how my work is going to be. :p

Wishing one and all a happy lunar new year.

Welcome 2011

2011-01-01T12:02:00.006+08:00

The past year for me was beyond my wildest dream. To be able to accomplish thus much was something I never thought I would have done. In terms of managing friendship, work and my outside cirriculum.

Family
Took my mum out to the states to travel for more than 3 weeks. It was totally wicked. :) And then she asked me to start planning for Japan this year. errrr...a little too much considering that I actually plan the whole US trip. argh. But as long as mum is happy, all these are definitely worthwhile.

Friends
Faithful friends who are dear to me has always been there for me. Work is never my excuse for not being to meet up with my friends now, albeit we have trouble finding a compromised timeslot.=p i reckoned after all not-so-frequent-meetups, true friends dont really need to meet up every now and then. Friends that I do not meet up after 1 year, still remain fresh and warm. And I'm so happy for all my friends who have tied the knot last year and the next. Allow me to stay single for you guys for years to come. =p

Love
Almost non-existence. There wasn't any real deal to begin with. But I'm hopeful for 2011. We all live in hope, dun we?

Work
A start of something new yet again. This time is bigger and a lot better. :)

Christmas Wish

2010-12-20T23:35:00.002+08:00

I do not know if you do believe in Christmas...

Chau just reminded me of the songs that we used to sing when we younger, but in the days when we were still altar servers. I really do miss those yester-years when all are just so simple. No spending power, no cars, no mobile phones, no electronic games, no hormones running wild, just the innocent and simple mindset of just wanting to have fun.

I hate growing-up. I have leaving memories as memories. I wish I can go back to the past...

Alright, this post is not about how I missed my childhood and teenagehood, but rather it is on Christmas!!!

The Christmas that I so loved when I was young was really about presents and staying overnight in church with all the servers. :) And Christmas also serves as a kind reminder that my December holidays are about to end. =( All the gifts and cards exchange, and everyone wearing nice nice, going for midnight mass.

I have long no felt the kinda Christmas feeling that I used to feel when I was younger. But at least I now know that I have grown up, and my feelings right now for xmas is no longer with the present nor the staying overnight church part.

Christmas for me is a time where I feel that "I'm HOME". And this is the feeling that I want to feel this year. Making a deliberate effort not to be out of Singapore for the 2nd year running is no easy-feat, but to me, I realized that after so many years of wander-lusting, HOME is where my heart is, and my heart is at a place where my love ones reside.

Christmas is the time to come together
a time to put all differences aside
and I reach out my hand to the family of man
to share the joy I feel at Christmas time

So everyone, I know I'm a few days early, but Christmas is never too early and it will also be never too late. Christmas is a state of mind which should last the whole year.

Merry Xmas!!!

nothing is permanent in this world.

2010-11-14T22:08:00.000+08:00

I lived a life with little regrets and I come to my senses when the word permanent is only a temporary word.

Is there anything that will last a lifetime? There is only one thing that I know that will be. Therefore, I'm ready to let go of things that used to be close to my heart.

Life is so short to care abt all temporary stuffs.

too good to be true

2010-10-28T12:00:00.002+08:00

i learnt in my fixed income class when i was in varsity that if there is something too good to be true, then it is too good to be true. And i live by the principle all these while, even in my line of work. even though, as the saying goes, the good things in life are for free.

im happy with my life status quo and nothing will affect the balance. even if it does, it is only temporary.

peace

2010-10-21T10:16:00.002+08:00

cough is not recovering...

im feeling out of sorts for reasons i cannot comprehen. maybe is bcoz of the over exposure to the uncertainty that i thought I would love to thrive in.

i need to find peace within myself.

the disequilibrium of my life must be effected from the need for equilibrium.

im looking forward for the scan that could proved to be the turning point of my life. what if the result is positive? first thing that worries me is mum. i hope nothing major comes out from it

this is my 778 post

2010-10-11T10:20:00.002+08:00

juz got back home from my almost one month tour in the states.

super sick and super jet-lagged.

my conscious state of mind overwhelmed me during my sleep. Was feeling quite restless and I woke up at 5am this morning.

i suddenly realized the sequence of my life NOW was being played out on a script i read about a year ago. no wonder all this time i have got this dejavu feeling.

in my sleep, i keep thinking/knowing what is going to happen next.

how do u explain this?

u are hot and u are cold

2010-09-29T23:54:00.002+08:00

such is the makeup of our beloved superior spieces. y couldn't eveything be simple n easy.

sample size aplentiful, variance is neglible. all are different, but the difference are all the same.

is this how we translate the greatest mystery to an inability to articulate how logic and emotions are worlds apart?

i'm tired

2010-09-29T03:37:00.001+08:00

dear god, i'm tired. can u just take over from here for now. i would like to take a rest.

10 hours

2010-09-11T02:08:00.002+08:00

fairy dust, magic spells, wishing stars, for a DREAM i hold, yet all it took was that special one to spin me round, to sweep me off, to make me smile, to steal my heart and to make my DREAM COME TRUE......and all it took was just 10 hours.

to wait or not to wait?

2010-09-09T13:18:00.003+08:00

i believe the question itself is already the answer.

let me just soaked into this feeling for the time being and hope that faith will watch me thru.

God, you are such a tease...

2010-09-06T11:28:00.002+08:00

so there is such a thing call perfection after all. darn, why are you showing me all the possibilities in your garden of eden and yet at the same time didn't give me access to it.

u make me a very happy man by teasing me big time.

so now, after the big tease, can i have a word with you, let's sit down and discuss the terms and conditions. i see what u can offer, and i totally love it. so what does it take for me to have it?

17 days more...

2010-08-31T12:00:00.001+08:00

and i will be back to my traveling ways.
USA here i come...

Does the truth really matters?

2010-08-02T23:35:00.002+08:00

I think I'm the magnet to all truths. I guess in some ways, somethings are just meant to me.

In a short span of 6 months last year, i got cheated twice. Yes, not once but twice.

Tough luck some may say. But I respect the work of nature...

I have been asking myself whether will people ever tell the truth. As cliche as it sounds, in truth, it doesnt matter. Whoever matters to you, will only tell you the truth. Whoever don't, don't matter.

But but but but but, i dont wanna to be with people who wants to be someone who matters to and yet conceal the truth at the same time. Is it really that hard to tell the someone who matters to you the truth?

Well, I guess it is in some ways...

Betrayal I feel no more...

A journey of 1000 miles begin with the first step

2010-06-30T08:57:00.000+08:00

Good news and bad news.

Good news is that I'm nearing 100% of confirmation for my US trip with mummy.

I don't think it is going to be possible for me to excuse myself for the mymmar trip in Nov due to work commitment.

On the bright side, going to have a bali trip in aug, and a south korea trip in dec for me, yes.

Back to the great old traveling days. YES. :)

He is the he whom I can't understand

2010-06-26T17:47:00.002+08:00

He is very emotional and always allows himself to be very emotional. He can have good night sleep and be in a good mood, and less than few hours at work he can be very moody. He does not understand things or try to understand things easily. If you notice him carefully, you will notice what kind of moods he is in.

He is a thinker and able to do well at work and always succeed. His normal gestures mean he always looks at other people faults, but he will not talk about it. He has the ability to know your thought and able to tell you what you are thinking about.

He can mostly memorize all his anger, his loves. They are his important secrets and he will keep them to himself and will never let you know. He is not a very ambition man and careless about his position in society. Wealth does not draw his attention, because he is not greedy man and as well he thinks money is not something that will last. He could be very careless about his future. He does not like to fight against all odds, but instead following the stream and make life easier. Sometimes because he
likes to take an easy path, which causes him very unsteady future.

He is kind and slightly lazy, but it is his cute character. He hates rules and regulations. He will never look down on people. He is a polite guy and can be very aggressive when he is mad. He loves to think that he lives in a beautiful world and surround by nice people, so if he finds his world is cruel and not what he expects, he will live in his world instead.

His other charm is that he is a funny guy, and it is his real weapon. He can tease you and yet make it looks like one of his joke. Even when he is sad, he still has that funny face, so you could hardly tell if he is mad or depress. He likes to hide his feeling and help other people especially those who need friend or lonely.

He will be everything that you want and everything you do not want. He has a chance to make it as much as a chance to fail. He can determine to make it work and can do it well, except he tends to lost his energy with other important things, that's how he miss many of his good opportunity.

He can be happy and content by himself. What he thinks is important is not "Love", but firm status and stability. He has plenty of love for you.

He is a good speaker, as much as he is a good listener. When he is with you, he wants to be happy. He understands his partner's emotional. He likes to take a long rest and sometimes being alone. If he needs to be alone, try not to disturb him.

He is a sensitive, quiet, shy and easily hurt. He wants to feel worthy. He can be mad and noisy, but once he calm down, he will be that happy person again. He is not a jealous or possessive guy, and if he feels jealous he will hide it. He has many friends of both sex, and he care about his friends. He likes to have lots of friends, so you can not get jealous or else you will loose him. He likes beautiful things, so if a pretty woman walks by he will look, so do not get mad at him knowing this fact.

When he is lonely or feeling sad, be close to comfort him. He does not like to take advice, so if you want him to listen or to follow your advice, you have to act as a good sample for him first. He likes a cheery and a smart woman. If you treat him like he is your special person, then he will be that special person for you. He will trust you if he is in love, but try not to over doing it and spoil him too much. You have to know yourself worth all the time too.

The day Man Utd got 2nd

2010-05-10T04:09:00.003+08:00

Yes, Man Utd got 2nd and I guess I have to be contented about being a loser. innoc3nt doesnt like to lose. =p

The past one year have been really crazy, I meant it totally for Man Utd and myself. Learn alot about myself. Man Utd's performance is juz like a drug that keeps filled with Vitamin H(appy) for the week.

Once again, I'm approaching a cross-road once again. This time, it is another gamble. But before I dwell much into it, I digress and ask myself if I will ever have a decent conversation with her again. I mean I still very much treat her like a good friend and I yearn to go back to the fun old ways. Yes, totally random and I know!!! Is good to be random sometimes.....

I went for 7 weddings in Jan, and I'm attending 2 more this month. I always feel so happy when someone is getting married, just that I hope I am not the groom. Is this what they call wedding jitters? Geee, how can I feel that way? Dun wanna get married, but I do wanna have kids. argh...

I recently have a crush over 2 person, i.n.c.h c.h.u.a and ca.thy ny.uge.n. I think their vocals are really nice, and they have been my companion when I go thru my endless proposals.

I found a very interesting quote which says "find a job u really like, and you do not have to work one day in your life" how apt n true. I guess I found mine!!! Hooray...

The move I made wasnt the most brilliantly move that I thought it was. I guess God work his plans in myterious ways. All the trials that I have been thru, really did make me somewhat more...downtoearth.

Alright, cross-road now. Have to decide if i want to relocate myself. The offer is tempting, to my favourite country. Once in a life-time opportunity!!! The reluctancy to travel for me right now is becoz of family, and to relocate to such a far place, wld just be the reason why I wldnt want to. How how? dilenma. Maybe YOU can change my mind.

Been flying alot lately. Too much, but I'm not complaining. Can't help but to think about those days that I traveled around the world alone. Sigh, I hope to do it again this year in Nov. Seeing all my friends out there traveling, I'm so happy for them, yet I feel so bitterly jealous that I cannot partake. I hope is not the end for me....

Is already 4am here, and I pray for you, be safe out there, come home soon.

Gratitude for Love Lost

2010-05-06T20:31:00.001+08:00

FALLING down a cliff feels very much like falling down a metaphorical rabbit hole.

Here’s what happens: You slip and fall. You grab at the ground, but find no purchase.

I was in Hawaii circa 1998 when my real-life incident of slipping halfway down a cliff
happened. It was close to midnight, and the moon was close to being full, throwing shadows along the smooth rocks that led into the sea.

Like Alice in Wonderland, I’d caught sight of something – memory fails me when I try to recall exactly what – and walked into the shadows.

There was sea spray, something wet, and I slipped. Faster than a shot, I was on my back and headed feet-first for the ocean, 20 metres below. I clawed at the ground and for a few frightening moments, thought I wasn’t going to make it.

I don’t know how, but I managed to slow the fall and crawled back up the cliff on my hands and knees.

That experience came back full-force last week when, too curious for my own good, I looked up an old boyfriend online. I’d misspelt his name (perhaps a deliberate slip on the part of my subconscious mind) for years when idly trying to search for him.

But last week, I grew tenacious and tracked him down through mutual friends in a twisted game of six degrees.

I found him, clicked on his profile – and fell down the rabbit hole.

We’d seen each other fitfully for two years (you could have sort of called it dating, only it wasn’t, really). I wasn’t treated badly, but I wasn’t treated well either. And there are things that happened that I will never put up with again.

But he’d also educated me about music, taught me to love soul and dance music in equal measure, taught me how those beats could touch my very spirit. How I loved him for that, for you cannot help but love the ones who help expand you in some way.

There were things I’d kept forgotten – how unhappy I was with him, how I disliked myself for going back to him not once, but many times over. In his profile, he seemed to be exactly the same as he had always been.

But all that I’d stashed away into a drawer in my mind burst forth, and there was no dam for any of it. I was sliding down the cliff, and trying desperately to claw my way back up once again.

I slammed my laptop shut. Some things, I later concluded, are best left buried.

Several days later, I was struck by a BBC broadcast in which Irish journalist Tim Brannigan was interviewed about his search for his identity, and for a father he’d never known. Brannigan had written a book about his search, titled Where Are You Really From?

It was that provocative question that held my attention. And, at yoga later that day, I began to realise that my practice is, in a sense, not my own.

The postures that I faithfully move through almost every day don’t belong to me – they belong to every teacher who has contributed to me.

They’re the people who have, when I’ve fallen, told me to try again. They’ve
corrected my postures, nurtured me and watched me grow.

They have made my practice what it is, and I am who I am because of them. It’s the same with that former boyfriend, I now realise.

Yes, there are things I would have myself forget.

But he taught me what I wanted in a relationship. It was the antithesis of him and what we had, but I credit him for showing me at least that.

Today, I am lucky to have found the very relationship I want and need – one that fills me with joy every single day.

Ultimately, that ex has helped me know what I want in a man – and in a way, has made me who I am, what I am. For that reason, a little piece of my heart belongs to him, always.

It’s not enough to go on for me to click the “add as friend” button.

Some things shall remain buried, but with so much more love and gratitude than there was before.

Biz Trips

2010-05-02T14:02:00.002+08:00

Going to Taipei, HCMC and KL. I wished I can have a least a day in these cities to just relax and do nothing. I'm tired of busy working for so long man....

need a break!!!

Dear Raisin

2010-04-14T09:29:00.002+08:00

I know I have been wavering my undying love for you for so long, and it is clear that I really love you (at least from the way I see it). But I also do realized that you may not felt the same way. If I have love you that much, I would have washed you up every week, and give you the scent you truly deserved. What I ought to do as a lover is not only to SAY I love you or to feel it one-sided but also to REALLY show you how much you meant to me. But now, even if you have to leave me, I really have no case against you, I mean, other than the initial waxing that I brought you to, I didn't really pamper you enough to make you feel that you ought to deserve the love u do.

I promise to make ammends from today onwards.

Words VS Action

2010-04-14T09:26:00.002+08:00

It is really hard to translate verbal to action. I always tell myself that I need to have a balance lifestyle, as of now, my lifestyle is kinda balanced. Work round the clock, albeit different work. =p

The crocheted tablecloth

2010-03-22T22:38:00.003+08:00

The brand new pastor and his wife, newly assigned to their first ministry, to reopen a church in suburban Brooklyn , arrived in early October excited about their opportunities When they saw their church, it was very run down and needed much work. They set a goal to have everything done in time to have their first service on Christmas Eve.

They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls, painting, etc, and on December 18 were ahead of schedule and just about finished.

On December 19 a terrible tempest - a driving rainstorm hit the area and lasted for two days. On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church.

His heart sank when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about 20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high.

The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor, and not knowing what else to do but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home.

On the way he noticed that a local business was having a flea market type sale for charity so he stopped in. One of the items was a beautiful, handmade, ivory colored, crocheted tablecloth with exquisite work, fine colors and a Cross embroidered right in the center. It was just the right size to cover up the hole in the front
wall. He bought it and headed back to the church.

By this time it had started to snow an older woman running from the opposite direction was trying to catch the bus..... She missed it. The pastor invited her to wait in the warm church for the next bus 45 minutes later.

She sat in a pew and paid no attention to the pastor while he got a ladder, hangers, etc., to put up the tablecloth as a wall tapestry. The pastor could hardly believe how beautiful it looked and it covered up the entire problem area.

Then he noticed the woman walking down the center aisle. Her face was like a sheet.. 'Pastor,' she asked, 'where did you get that tablecloth?'

The pastor explained.. The woman asked him to check the lower right corner to see if the initials, EBG were crocheted into it there. They were. These were the initials of the woman, and she had made this table cloth 35 years before, in Austria

The woman could hardly believe it as the pastor told how he had just gotten the Tablecloth. The woman explained that before the war she and her husband were well-to-do people in Austria

When the Nazis came, she was forced to leave. Her husband was going to follow her the next week.. He was captured, sent to prison and never saw her husband or her home again.

The pastor wanted to give her the tablecloth; but she made the pastor keep it for the church. The pastor insisted on driving her home, that was the least he could do.. She lived on the other side of Staten Island and was only in Brooklyn for the day for a housecleaning job.

What a wonderful service they had on Christmas Eve. The church was almost full. The music and the spirit were great. At the end of the service, the pastor and his wife greeted everyone at the door and many said that they would return.

One older man, whom the pastor recognized from the neighborhood continued to sit in one of the pews and stare, and the pastor wondered why he wasn't leaving.

The man asked him where he got the tablecloth on the front wall because it was identical to one that his wife had made years ago when they lived in Austria before the war and how could there be two 20 tablecloths so much alike.

He told the pastor how the Nazis came, how he forced his wife to flee for her safety and he was supposed to follow her, but he was arrested and put in a prison.. He never saw his wife or his home again all the 35 years in between.

The pastor asked him if he would allow him to take him for a little ride. They drove to Staten Island and to the same house where the pastor had taken the woman three days earlier.

H e helped the man climb the three flights of stairs to the woman's apartment, knocked on the door and he saw the greatest Christmas reunion he could ever imagine.

True Story - submitted by Pastor Rob Reid
Who says God does not work in mysterious ways..
I asked the Lord to bless you as I prayed for you today, to guide you and protect you as you go along your way... His love is always with you, His promises are true, and when we give Him all our cares you know He will see us through.

Honorable MEN

2010-03-22T22:24:00.001+08:00

"One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?"the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord
asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord
asked.

The woodcutter replied, "Yes.."
The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with ANGELINA JOLIE "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to ANGELINA JOLIE , You would have come up with CAMERON DIAZ. Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,'you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take careof all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to ANGELINA JOLIE ."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.

That's our story, and we're sticking to it!

Feeling under the weather

2010-03-20T22:44:00.002+08:00

Just came back from a biz trip from taiwan. i didnt get my chicken cutlet, darn!!!

got throat inflamation, fever, flu and im so sleepy.....

this is a great trip to sort out my complicated mind. i finally know what i want.

2 years ago, i made probably the only mistake in my life that i will live in regret, but i know what i did was totally unselfish and totally generous. i wished i have been more selfish. i probably have caused u misery for the past 2 years, and i must apologise for that. i wish u well.

Great Quotes

2010-03-01T10:27:00.000+08:00

Chua, who set up the Whampoa Gourmet Place food court in Hong Kong, has openly expressed such views for years. Here are some recent ones he told HK-magazine.com:

- "Marriage is the tomb for love. It's extremely monotonous and annoying for two people to stay together for decades.

- "Monogamy is a barbaric system. It was set up by people who have weaker genes to protect their own interests. People with good genes want to spread them out as much as possible."

- "I got married because I didn't know what I was doing at the time. But a promise is a promise: I will hold it until the end."

- "The core problem with love has been the same for every generation - you fall in love with more than one person at a time."

"If you don't want to get bored in your marriage, find a way to entertain yourself on the premise that no one gets hurt."

The 4 letter word

2010-02-28T11:41:00.002+08:00

yes, i know i hasn't be a good boy in updating my blog.

I'm so busy lately, i wish i can sleep permernently.

i have big dreams of updating all my lost travel journals, but my computer is taking so long to repair. all my data are inside. argh.... I dun believe how come is one month and my computer is not back yet.

i must apologise if I have constantly turn down all the meet ups, promise to make it up soon.

Leaving on for Saigon

2010-02-09T10:55:00.001+08:00

Going on a 3 days biz trip.

I'm so super short of time to complete my responsibilites of spring cleaning. and i have this biz trip that i have to attend to.

pho and hotpot overload for the next 3 days man.

CNY should turn out to be a good break. I'm yearning for it man.

Forgive and Forget

2010-02-04T03:15:00.002+08:00

Remember no flaws.

I guess I can really easily forgive a person for whatever bad things that he/she did to me. At the same time, I forget about the person just as easily. So easily that I actually do know even remember he/she did once existed in my life. I wonder how my mind work in such mysterious ways. I'm say this with no hatred of anyone in particular. Just browsing through the past, make me realized, yes, it is really not that hard to forgive and FORGET.

loving u

2010-01-31T18:17:00.002+08:00

i never thot loving would be that difficult, but it really is. How do u even love somebody? how can i treat someone more special than another. i juz like everybody juz the same. super dilenma. this is love distribution at its best.

Brothers

2010-01-31T18:15:00.002+08:00

Last two weeks of weddings, being brothers for all my gd friends was damn fun. hahaha.

victor's wedding was totally alternative and i simply love it.
alan's wedding was in jb, and is totally different from sg's wedding.

wishing both of u a great journey ahead. :)

and for now, i'm off to another wedding (my 7th this month).

why u can sleep soundly for the next 2.5 weeks

2010-01-20T01:22:00.002+08:00

i juz finished packing my bag to go into camp tomorrow. and yes, for the next 2 weeks, if u are sleeping soundly, no terrorist attack and feel a sense of peacefulness n calm, is bcoz of US who are going back to reservist!!!

actually, i kinda love going back to camp very much. i mean other than the few days of planning, the rest are quite good interaction with old mates. unfortunately, this is the last in camp for many.

i would like to take this time to remember my buddy in leader course who has gone before us. I pray that wherever he is, I know he is definitely in a better place.

Blogging

2010-01-14T16:46:00.000+08:00

the purpose of this blog shares my personal experiences and thoughts about certain topics or subjects. It does not in any way represent my feelings at any point of time. I have seen too many people being virtually raped, as if they are totally naked by revealing too much of their feelings on blogs.

What good is a blog if you just talk about general stuff? I choose to prevent my state of mind being rape. To really know my thoughts, do drop me a call and we can discuss greater in depth.

morning air

2010-01-14T16:36:00.000+08:00

I just love being a morning person thou I know many of u will not believe. But is true... The smell of the morning air and the calm and peace on the streets. Awwwww...

I am now looking forward for the evening air and strong breeze. :)

I have fallen for you....over and over and over again!!!

2010-01-11T00:10:00.002+08:00

Kim Ah-Joong

One Moment

2010-01-10T19:45:00.002+08:00

Visited Novena today and was told that in life, we cared so much about the past, the present and the future, but all these in God's eye, it is just One Moment. So apt, and so true. Our lives is an aggregation of that one final judgement on the final day.

So there fore, start living in the NOW!!!

"There is only one Mr. Right"

2010-01-08T09:31:00.001+08:00

Many films that come out of Hollywood follow the storyline of a hopeless woman in love looking for her Mr. Right, which is a good message, but only if the moral or underlying theme is ‘don’t settle’.

There are a lot of Mr. Rights that are out there for a person, and some are going to be more attractive in terms of the package that they have to offer in comparison to others.

It is damaging to have the idea that there is only one person out there as you end up having unrealistic and perfectionist standards and ideals which are uncompromising.

Commuting

2010-01-08T01:15:00.002+08:00

It has been a long time since I last commuted.

The sight of busy sidewalks, unintentional evasdroping of senseless conversation of the youth and how people just squeezed on the trains makes me feel so at home.

Decided to reduce my carbon foot-print this year, and commit myself to more purposeful walks from point A to point B.

Sight

2010-01-07T15:55:00.003+08:00

This little black dot that appears in my vision is making me wonder if my gift of sight is coming to an end. I shouldn't speculate, but I do feel thankful for this gift.

These quotes were taken from actual Federal (US) employee performance

2010-01-05T11:21:00.004+08:00

“Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.”

“His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity”

“I would not allow this employee to breed”

“This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won’t be”

“Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap”

“When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet”

“He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle”

“This young lady has delusions of adequacy”

“He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them”

“This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot”

“This employee should go far, and the sooner the better”

“Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together”

“A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus”

“He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless”

“He doesn’t have ulcers, but he’s a carrier”

“I would like to go hunting with him sometime”

“He’s been working with glue too much”

“He would argue with a signpost”

“He has knack for making strangers immediately”

“He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room”

“When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell”

“If you see 2 people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one”

“A photographic memory but with the cap over the lens”

“A prime candidate for natural deselect ion”

“Donated his brain to science before he was done using it”

“Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming”

“Has 2 brains, one is lost, the other is out looking for it”

“If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week”

“If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change”

“If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean”

“It’s hard to believe that he beat out 1,000 other sperm”

“One neuron short of a synapse”

“Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled”

“Takes him 12 hours to watch 60 Minutes”

“The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead”

goodbye 2009

2009-12-31T20:34:00.000+08:00

last post for this year. I must reflect on the exciting journey that I experienced this year. I would have thought that the experience would be pale in comparision to those in yester years, alas I came to realize each of the years brings about new experiences in life. I know it sounds cliche and 'correct', but it really does. I understand so many aspect of life and thank god I get this sooner than later. I would assume this to be the rite of passage, an initiation to what life is all about. I'm glad that things happen. I was shown the way that things all happen for a reason and the world is a balance. Balance? Eywar creates the balance (it is said in avatar). For every laugther that one cries out, there is another tear falling to the ground. For every bit of food that each of us consume, there is one out there trying to fight poverty. For every dollar that we spend on luxuries, someone out there is in debt. For someone that great to be pronouced, there will be one that is the fallen one. For someone to love u, u know there is someone out there who hates u. Life does comes to a complete circle eventually, and all of us will find a place in this world. All of us will be here to fulfill a purpose, that only u noe what the purpose will be. That is why with every struggle that I experienced in this trying time, I draw strength from my golden days, for times that I feel like I am top of the world, I know that I have to make provision for the day of my defeat, for days that I'm thankful of living in this world, I do need to make preparations for the life after death.

To sum up 2009, is easy for me to write it off as an absolutely terrible year, but the truth is, I realized my friends and family are always here for me, and in tough times, it is never too tough when you know god is in this journey with you. I somehow feel I love this feeling. :) to know that u are being loved, I guess it beats the feeling of being the 'best'?

With this reflection, I am eagerly looking forward to a whole new year.

Wishing a great year for one and all.

2010, I'm ready. Seeya soon.

Meichin's Wedding

2009-12-27T21:17:00.001+08:00

I went there only knowing one guy (my primary school friend).

I met 3 primary school friend in one wedding, altogether 4 primary school mates. How small can the world be.

Merry Xmas 2009

2009-12-25T21:08:00.002+08:00

2005 - Bangkok, Thailand
2006 - Tokyo, Japan
2007 - Paris, France
2008 - Beijing, China

The past few years of xmas was spent far away from home. This year, i did something special, i did it at home. Glad I did it at home, even though it was mellow, i wouldn't exchange it for any other places in the world.

Merry xmas to all, I wish this year we can all reflect the true origin of the xmas (the birth of christ), and not the marketing mascott from coca cola that orginated from sweden.

Though I still want to thank everyone for the prezzies, i promise to write cards for everyone next year. :)

Wedding Bells Ringing

2009-12-21T23:08:00.001+08:00

Congrats to Linus and Pei Pei.

And I will always remb, two words, "Yes Dear" is the solution to all great marriages. :b

It has been sometime...

2009-12-17T15:12:00.002+08:00

...that I dreamt a nice dream. It was so sweet and I hope I didnt wake up to it.

We chatted. We laughed. She has changed, and so have i.

it has been almost 2 years since we last spoken. I wonder if u are alright. I wish you well.

i was jinxed the whole 2009

2009-12-08T13:16:00.002+08:00

i didnt know the extreme of my bad luck, when earlier this year i was mentioning how unlucky i am. those are the start of the many things that eventually happened, the tip of an iceberg.

i believe i was jinxed. and the jinxed was passed on. argh....

i wished i could say 2009 is the worst year of my life, but u nv know how low u can go (no pun intended).

Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country

2009-12-08T12:59:00.002+08:00

I do believe that one shouldn't be asking for something, unless he has been the one giving always.

giving is the ultimate extreme of love

Timothy and Kenneth

2009-12-08T12:58:00.001+08:00

Welcome to the world!!!

Cheetah....

2009-12-07T00:13:00.002+08:00

The media is flooded with golf sensation Tiger's supposedly cheating ways. And I wonder why people are all placing judgements on him when the truth is not even out. Even if it is out, aren't we all fallible? Making judegements like that should only be done by perfectionists, and agree with me both u and i are not any of it.

what catches my attention is that when I was browsing thru the newspaper, they are listing out all the male celebrities that were caught cheating. gosh, now, they are sterotyping that all the guys out there are cheaters. i know of a fair deal of women cheetahs as well. shouldn't they be crucified as well?

males are really getting the blunt of it, but seriously, females can add up a sizable amount too. i'm not posting to talk about gender equalities. i'm writing to urge anyone and everyone out there to stop putting a judgement on these people as they probably by now (after the public's intense scrutiny), they probably have learnt their mistake, just let live and give them a 2nd chance. everyone deserves it.

i know what i don't want but i do not know what i want?

2009-12-03T14:50:00.002+08:00

just this week I have so many people telling me these. How is it possible to know what you dun wanna but u do not know what you want? cliche as it sounds, but it is true.

what they dun wanna, is what they dislike, the rest, i guess they are pretty much up for the exposure. :)

i have never come across a situation like this. i mean, ultimately, i really do know what i want. even though, sometimes i might just tell u, i dunno. subconsiously, i KNOW!!! i guess pretty much that because i know what i want, that is why i do what i do.

i was wishing if i could do things aimlessly or recklessly, but my male's logical thinking never fails me. I'm too logical. someone wants told me to be less logical and be more emotional. i wonder how will it help? i guess the word emotional shouldn't be used, it should be more sensitive. i reckoned i could just be less logical, but i cannot be totally illogical.

for now, i really do know what i want, therefore, this leads me to know what I do not want, at all!!!

Suddenly

2009-12-03T14:40:00.003+08:00

is there a day when you wake up and you just know what you want or what you dun wanna for the matter.

like when you wake up, you just know it. This is the day where a dramatic change will occur. This will be the day that proves to be the life-changing event.

i heard so much of these from so many people, and people just SUDDENLY know the things that they are unable to explained for months or years. they suddenly want something or they suddenly became someone else. what actually happen in the suddenly?

i often wonder if this day will ever come for me to suddenly become a different person. Or suddenly I know this day will be the day that i will look back in later years and say, this is the day that everything change.

or suddenly something struck me, i become a vegetarian? or i start giving up on my weekend man utd matches? gosh...that would be unbelievable.

my life has been pretty stagnent in the sense that there is not much excitement. so the excitement comes from how i can live a consistent stagnent life. wahhahaha.

but i got this feeling, something is about to unfold, but i just dunno what. i hope is the same kinda feeling everybody is talking about.

Sex Sex Sex

2009-12-01T10:14:00.003+08:00

When you talked about Sex, the girl will ask "why?" and the guy will ask "where?"

Some great reasons for the guys to tell the girls

http://www.asiaone.com/Health/Men%2527s%2BMatters/Story/A1Story20091130-183060.html

As for where? wouldn't anywhere sounds not too bad. =p

the 5 people that I met during this long weekend

2009-11-30T09:54:00.003+08:00

it was quite a memorable weekend as i continued to learn more about myself. as much as this post sound really exciting, in actual facts, the work done during the weekend is far from exciting. it was a casual nite out to party, some arguements with friend, some quiet chit-chat with friends, having a seminar and meeting my teacher.

being so busy with my work (like always), i often missed the opportunity to meet up with one of the most respected man that came into my life. he is none other than my sec skol AMaths teacher. I would like to think that I do have the 5% gift in Maths, but he gave me the 95% confidence to be good at it, and 100% more to be a more spiritually guided and personality defined person. he never fails to make an impression as a teacher to offer his valuable advices when i was younger. he is often a good place to turn to should I need any help in any advices. this lead to an incredible 12 years of friendship.

things took a turn last year, when he sort of lost himself, and i saw the process. it was unbearable to be witnessing a great man like him going thru the whole process. everyone was concerned about him, and i did pray and hope that he may one day find the light. the meeting over the weekend with him seems to be really +ve. he is back to his original self. i was so happy for him. he changed a little, but definitely is for the best. i know many people are going to say, there he goes again, but really, with god's grace, he overcame the barriers and became a better man.

a personal friend who is a partner in a law firm told me that he never thot of becoming a lawyer, because he has always wanted to be a teacher. and the reason why he wanted to become a teacher is because of my AMaths teacher. His selflessness, his guidance, his attention to details to all the young boys' need is golden. God could never have given us a better teacher than that.

i'm really happy that he is in good shape now, also, he just is going to move to a condo in Kovan, i will have more self-invitation to go there for swim soon. =)

had dinner with one of my friend for dinner, and she was asking me if i am having the idea that all the girls out there are out to cheat me and therefore i'm just not getting into dates. i chuckled. thot abt it, she may be right, but i found out a more wholesome answer for that which i think is rather stupid. so i shan't comment it here. =p

thots that i gathered over the long weekend: "if u really love someone, there will not be any sacrifices made becoz everything you do is natural. you only made sacrifices when u subconsiously want something back in return. by giving up something is merely an act to enhanced some other aspect of a relationship wouldnt constitute to sacrifice.

i know that i may/may not be wrong, but i believe if you have me in your intentions, u will make me feel right, not wrong.

crazie week ahead. watch out!!!

today I thot about you

2009-11-29T03:27:00.000+08:00

i juz wanna u to noe that i still care n i allwaiz will.

injury prone??

2009-11-25T12:46:00.003+08:00

I have a strained left shoulder, joint imflamation on my right thumb, swollen blood-clotted left toe and a crazy headache. Argh..... I would like to think that I really know how to take care of myself, but all these shit keep coming to me, and it is not even caused my other parties injuring me.

ippt is slightly less than a month away, i need everything I have got to pull this one away. go for gold.

You are the world traveller

2009-11-25T12:36:00.003+08:00

Not too long ago, i was this kid who have big dreams of travelling round the world. to be the world's next top traveller. as soon as I was in it, i know there was no turning back. having the childhood fantasies fulfilled is like a dream come true. then, it didnt end just here, i merely took a break to come back to perform a higher order purpose to contribute to this society.

I know there is this soft spot in me, even though the last time I did some crazy trip was like almost 2 years ago, I want to escape and go back to travel again. Hmm, did I just said escape? why would wanting to go traveling seems seems like an escape? Does that mean that I feel like being a traveller is a gd escape to what im doing now. Just something that I'm pondering about.

I hope i wouldnt turn to travelling as a way of escapism, bcoz it is juz too cool to brand it as that.

But for now, let me strive to be a serious worker who wants to contribute just a little bit to this society by slaving my arse off.

2009-11-25T01:48:00.002+08:00

last night i have the weirdest dreams. is like all my different dreams all merged into one.

i think i have finally proven myself wrong.

i can't forget and i'm stuck. it is all coming back to me again.

http://premierschool.wordpress.com

2009-11-23T15:37:00.002+08:00

if u are from my school, this will be extremely hilarious.

if u are not from my school, well, i would like to invite you to a whole new world. =)

trust

2009-11-19T00:57:00.002+08:00

i placed trust very high in every relationship with every human being and every non-living thing. I can take the awful truth in almost anyway. but if im betrayed, i juz need that once, u can be sure that things will never ever gonna be that rosy again.

disclaimer: however, u can be assured that I can pretend that nothing has ever happen. and i will make sure u will know find out that I know that I have been betrayed.

getting there...

2009-11-19T00:53:00.002+08:00

moment of brillance are now starting to surface. as if something miraclous is gonna happen. i dunno if the outcome will be what it is, but i'm hopeful. :) thank you one and all for your constant prayers and encouragement. the stuff that u guys did were awesome. i guess the only way i can repay all is to make sure everything turn out fine, which I think im hopeful. :)

thank u god for I know that u are always there for me. and thank u for getting me back.

Marriage Humour

2009-11-12T16:58:00.002+08:00

Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.'
-------------------------------
Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife: 'Yes or no.'
-------------------------------
Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet.. Why?'
Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'
Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'
Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'
-------------------------------
Stress Reliever Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
------------------------------
Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'
Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'
-------------------------------
A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married
me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you,
NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'
-------------------------------
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'
-------------------------------
A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'
-------------------------------
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked.
The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'.
The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on'
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.

Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'

500 days of Summer

2009-11-05T09:02:00.002+08:00

Boy I just love Summer - the character. She is just so fuss-free, and easy going. Even though, she doesn't show much of commitment to whatever relationship she is in, I'm pretty sure that the guy is definitely not someone she really loves. Like she say, she woke up one day and knew that the next bf would be 'the one'. U just know it. Aww...how sweet.

This show actually depicts the present times casualness in relationship, which set apart from the conservative way of thoughts in relationship. I am for open relationships, but truth to be told, anything that doesn't requires commitment, that wouldn't be quality in it. At the end of the day, why waste time in doing something just for the fun of it, when actually, you can divert your energy to much important things.

Anyway, my main thoughts about this movie is the way it was actually taken. I like the whole concept of it, the continuous rewind and forwarding of the sequence, and the way it was being potrayed, also, they didnt use any A stars in this show, which I thought is very well done. Just love it.

I like the way they potray that nowadays, women can also be players, unlike the conventional thinking and how guys can be emotional and sensitive creatures. :)

Open mind?

2009-11-02T08:52:00.002+08:00

Been to quite a few networking sessions and seminars, and i keep hearing people telling me to be open up myself more. Well, personally, I think I'm actually quite open to new ideas already, and I more often than not do give the benefit of doubt.

Lately, someone just asked me to be more open when I kept asking him the 'right' questions about some particular business. Interesting as it may sound, to open up oneself to ideas (as correct as how they are putting it), it seems like a hidden way of saying, com'on just accept and believe in my ideals.

Went to one of the MLM talked recently, and I was quite impressed with the foundation that they built on. I mean, generally, the people there are nice, no hard selling, but I felt as if I was involved in a sect, which I can't help but to feel this way. And the certain "way of life" they are trying to spread (imposed) to everyone. Great eye-opener nonetheless, but definitely not my cup of tea.

Farewell

2009-10-28T12:58:00.002+08:00

The passing of my best friend's father brings me alot closer to what life in this earth is all about.

There is only so much one can do, so choose whatever that matters to you and do it. Above all, family and friends and the meaning of life is what matters at the of our journey when we recollect what we have done.

I pray for the soul to go to heaven quickly and that blessings will be showered on the Poon family.

We've missed the chance to alleviate poverty

2009-10-28T12:50:00.002+08:00

Not too long ago, we have too many bailouts and too many banks and firms that are too big too fail, thus resulting in many stimulus plans.

If all these stimulus plans can be given to the poorest nations, I'm sure we can go about to bring the dream of equality back into reality again. Alas, the rich are too rich to fail, and the poor are too poor to be helped.

There goes the opportunity that we could just try to reduce the gap betweens nation, but people are just concerned about what they have lost, and even when they have lost, they are still so much blessed as compared to the 1 billion of people out there who is dying because of poverty.

Tough luck, lets wait for the next depression and see if someone will try to make things right.

Economy is the aggregate total of our lives

2009-10-14T23:35:00.003+08:00

Not too long ago, I was enjoying what other the economist turned it as the "good times", then because of so many bad loans and credits that were swept under the carpet, overnight in May '09(albeit a little late - one year later than the world's crisis), I went from a hero to zero. I felt my worth was comparable to icelandic kronos. The world actually crashed on me. Or so I thought....

Emotional stimulus (from friends and family) was given, and I was able to tide the tough times in a short span of time. Then came the promise, the dream and the reality, I thought, this is it (no pun intended for MJ), I could actually do something different and change something in this place that we so feverently called our home. It was definitely an audacious attempt, the one that is similiar to that of the Obama's campaigne - Change and Hope. I have these 2. My world was riding on these 2, and it seemingly looked like it is heading towards and upwards.

Blind faith, or so they were called.

Recently, there is a spike in terms of the volatility in my life again. It actually went DOWN for a good whole 3 weeks. And definitely it seems like it is going to take a beating. And I was even thinking about performing a LB (Lehman's bailout). Thank God, he made plans.

I was so desperate in my life - twice. The first was for my O level results, I need to do well. The feeling of finally making my parents feel that regardless of how intellectually mal-function I am, I'm still able to do move on to the next stage of the education system. The 2nd time, was 2 weeks ago. Just that this time, I know I'm really desperate and I know HE is equally desperate to spend some time with me. I walked in a place that I so proud to spend almost half my life in. Spent some quiet and meaningful time. I felt peace within. Maybe people will say is the psychological effect. I beg to differ, I really felt like there was someone THERE being THERE for me.

Alright, if it wasn't convincing, just last week, I experienced life's greatest gift, which HE sent the message to us in His own ways and His own time. It was really amazing. Just like I never pay attention to sermon as I usually cannot understand the priest's diction. But last week, the sermon just struck me. Making me feel that things do happen for a reason. And yes, it was a way that god wanted me to feel, and the things that happened after. I had dinner to celebrate my dad's 60th birthday, and the family was for the first time having dinner and talking over the dinner. In the midst of the storm, I actually felt peace, like as if you know what you are actually heading for.

Then war started the beginning of this week, and today I saw the sun smiling back at me. Isn't all these so unreal? Like the nature of the volatility of life??

We all know that we will see the sun and the rainbow after the storm. I'm just hoping that I will be able to survive through it, the rest is not important.

But still, at the end of the day, I'm only left with one thing. Faith.

Sorry

2009-10-09T10:16:00.001+08:00

Hey guys, I'm so sorry if I sounded more busy than usual. Please forgive me, really filled to the hair. Sorry if I have no time to meet up for drinks or makan, will definitely make it up when i'm more settled.

10q for understanding. :)

You Can't Do What You Want By Doing Something Else

2009-10-07T12:58:00.000+08:00

by Bruce Eckel

And it's dense, by which I mean not fluffy but packed with insight. He spent years researching and developing this book, and his own struggle is woven into it. Indeed, it's not about formulas and answers, but about the struggle itself.

One observation set me back. There are lots of people who wanted to do one thing but then got "practical" and did something else "first." The idea was that they'd be successful and sock away money doing the practical thing, and after that they could go back to the thing they loved. Bronson was sure that, among the hundreds of people that he interviewed, someone would actually have been successful with this strategy. It sounds so reasonable, after all.

But he encountered exactly zero people who pulled it off. Everyone who tried got sucked into the "practical" career and were never able to extract themselves from it. Too comfortable, too many expectations from friends and family, too easy just to keep doing what you're doing.

Although we admire when someone can do something unique and creative, society is set up to resist such attempts. Your parents, with all the love and best intentions, will urge you to do something that "makes a good living." Your friends and coworkers resist behaviors that might take you away from them, and will tell you stories of how this or that person tried and failed. And hardest of all, when you are ready to make your leap of faith, the temptations appear; the tremendous opportunities that for some reason only come out of the woodwork when you are ready to walk out the door.

There's a quote that appears again and again in various forms: "close one door, another opens." It seems like magical thinking until you see it happen. And it only happens when you don't leave the door partially open, but instead firmly close it. For some reason, being certain that you're ready to move on does cause some kind of magic to happen, and I don't know why.

This doesn't mean it will be easy. But your struggles will be towards happiness rather than trying to avoid some litany of unpleasant things as most people do -- and most people (over 80% in this country, it appears) are unhappy in their careers. And knowing that you are moving towards something that you love (even if you don't yet know what it is) seems more likely to make you happy than just marking time in a job, waiting for something to happen so you can start doing what you really want.

The test

2009-10-02T10:25:00.001+08:00

I guess this would probably be one of the greatest test that I experienced in my life thus far.

I hope and pray that I dun and I won't disappoint. May God's grace be with me.

Turn of Events

2009-10-01T12:48:00.003+08:00

Like in real life, things dun happen the way you want them to turn out. And so recently, there are a couple of things that happen, and I'm sure it is for the better or at least a great lesson learnt. :)

I have just recently left my job which I was about to complete my 2 years there. There were both push and pull factors which I prefer to discuss on a personal level only. As for my former employer, I only have good things to say about them, and how much I will miss the them. Nonetheless, in life, to move on, we must!!!

Challenges ahead, and I'm relishing every moment to take them on. :)

So Morbid

2009-10-01T12:41:00.003+08:00

I think I did mention that a couple of weeks ago, i dreamt abt death - My death. I didn't see how I die in the dream, but I was the conscious during the process of death. I felt myself compressed and suddenly let loose, the feeling is like coming out from a stuffed room. It was so surreal. I wonder if this is a subtle hint for what it is to come.

The feeling was comparable when I passed out when I was playing a game of "oxygen deprivation" back in the army. However, the "oxygen deprivation" activity brought me to a state of High. Whereas, this dream....make me feel that it is all REAL. I can totally feel death. Death itself is defiitely not the end, the conscious will live on, and so does my what religion preaches, your soul lives on too.

And my friends are asking me...why m i talking abt death???

Polygamous marriage is beneficial

2009-09-22T16:02:00.000+08:00

The New Straits Times

KUALA LUMPUR: All Muslim women should open their hearts to polygamous marriages.

Ikhwan Polygamy Club spokesperson Hatijah Aam said this was because a woman had nine nafsu (internal desires) and one intellect whereas men had nine intellect and only one nafsu.

"When women are upset, they make a lot of noise, but men don't. The emotional nature of women makes them broadcast their problems. They rant and rave.

"Because this is their character, God allowed polygamy to challenge women to control their desires," said Hatijah, the second wife of Ashaari Muhammad, the founder of the controversial and now-defunct Al-Arqam movement.

"When the husband hurts them by taking another wife, their nafsu are challenged and curbed, and this makes them better people.

"A woman when left to her desires becomes very dangerous like a tiger. In fact, even fiercer than that. If the world is left to women, we will be open to continuous war."

The Al-Arqam movement was declared illegal by the National Fatwa Council in August 1994 after the group's teachings and beliefs were found to be against Islam. At its height, the movement had 10,000 members.

Polygamy, said Hatijah, would ensure that women were not controlled by their nafsu.

"When I feel sad that my husband is with another wife, he (my husband) will remind me that the pain God bestows upon us is a way to eradicate our sins.

"The husband is the leader who saves women from being consumed by their desires. There is a verse in the Quran which says that if the nafsu are not controlled, then 'nafsu itu akan menjadi Tuhan' (the desires will become God).

"Polygamy is the most practical approach, an effective cure to a woman's desire."

Hatijah said women in monogamous marriages were not challenged and that was dangerous as their nafsu could then control them.

"Why see only the negative in polygamous marriages? We can share a life as sisters. It is the nafsu that do not allow us to share and that is why men are there to suppress it.

"A polygamous marriage is actually beneficial.

"We can help each other with many chores including looking after the husband and children. The other wives come into our life to complement it."

Hatijah said one of the reasons the Ikhwan Polygamy Club was established was because Ashaari wanted to show the world he was living proof that polygamous marriages could be successful.

Ashaari has 38 children, eight of them with Hatijah. Twenty-three of the children are in polygamous marriages.

"Having been in a successful polygamous marriage for 30 years, Abuya (Ashaari) wanted to show that it could be a harmonious way of life.

"We also wanted to shock society. We wanted to show them there is an alternative for those who practise free sex. There are men who need more than one woman."

She said some monogamous marriages were failures as the men cheated on their wives.

"They are leading life as in the Jahiliah era (age of pagan ignorance preceding Islam) when men had many mistresses without any responsibilities."

The idea of the club was mooted in August and was launched in Sungai Petani, Kedah.

Hatijah said the club's activities included counselling, courses and organising weddings for polygamous marriages.

"One of the first activities we will carry out is counselling. We will have one set of lectures explaining practical steps towards a harmonious polygamous marriage.

"We have 40 men and women motivational counsellors to conduct this. We will also organise courses every weekend.

"Training towards a harmonious polygamous marriage is more difficult than training to become a doctor."

When there is a problem in a polygamous marriage, the issue will be taken to the board of advisers which comprise the highest ranking officers in the club.

Five men and five women sit on the board. They include Hatijah and Ashaari.

"Here we will have meetings to decide the outcome of the marriage and whether there should be a divorce or not. Divorce is allowed by God."

About 300 families comprising some 900 individuals are members of the club.

Some of the families are from Singapore, Thailand, Indonesia, Australia, Jordan and Syria.

They are all part of the Global Ikhwan Sdn Bhd group, a business entity which has over 10,000 members. Businesses under Global Ikhwan include bakeries, sundry shops and restaurants.

Ashaari helms the group which funds the activities of his followers.

Who is the club open to?

"All individuals who practise the Islamic way of life. We have had many enquiries about the club, including from some Datuks in polygamous marriages."

Asked if she had been criticised for starting such a club, Hatijah said: "There has been no backlash at all, just a lot of support.

"I think I receive this support because people see polygamy as a solution and a way out of adultery."

The club has a theme song entitled Keluarga Role Model.

Hatijah said the club would ensure that men who married more than one woman were able to sustain their marriages.

"The men do not choose the wives they marry. Instead, Abuya decides who the men should marry and they rarely refuse.

"Only men who Abuya believes have leadership qualities and who can manage a polygamous lifestyle are chosen."

Asked whether she had ever regretted entering into a polygamous marriage, Hatijah said: "I have been declared founder of this club with my husband.

"There is no way I regret entering this marriage.

"Of course, in the 30 years that I have been married there were times I wished out of this life.

"I asked God for a way out but now after 30 years, I am reaping the benefits and I can say that polygamy is beautiful."

Hatijah said for a man to be just and fair he has to teach his wife that her first love must always be God.

"If you can't teach your wife to love God, marry only one.

"If a man wants to give more to one wife, he will be prevented from doing so because of his love for God. God says that if you love one wife more, you cannot show it."

Asked whether her mother was in a polygamous marriage, Hatijah said: "No, during my mother's time, there was not much emphasis on religion. My mother now accepts my way of life."

As for her controversial move to call on prostitutes to join the club, Hatijah said Ashaari wanted to "save everyone".

"If I was a prostitute, what would my life be like? People can talk, but what is the way out for them?

"Who says polygamy is oppressive? It is the way out. They can become a wife and be protected legally. In fact we are going to start with five women with HIV soon. We will place them in a shelter.

"We will counsel them, treat them medically and teach them the Islamic way of life.

"When they are back on the right path, we will advise them to get married and assist them in every way."

She said wives whose husbands wanted to take another wife should know that their husbands still loved them.

"They should realise how much it hurts their husbands when they (the wives) ask for a divorce. They should realise they are losing a man who loves them." -NST

I need Endorphins

2009-09-11T08:59:00.001+08:00

used to have alot, but where are they now i wondered. I hope to be able to get some really soon.

like really really soon.

Rasin got violated

2009-09-11T08:57:00.001+08:00

My poor Rasin got violated. My heart just got cut a little deeper. Argh...

Sleepless Weekend

2009-09-07T22:14:00.002+08:00

The weekend just passed (Fri-sun), I slept a grand total of 6.5 hours. And definitely it is for the weirdest reason why i didnt get to sleep. Hmm, not that I hate it (this is definitely not a complaining post). It makes me wonder how much I missed army dazes, where sleep deprivation seems like the normal.

Coming back to all my out of the world encounters over the weekend. errr, now im comtemplating if i should put it inside here. alrite, i shall hang everyone in suspense, and prefer to share my experience in real life. so ask me, and i will tell u. =p

Time is a rarity

2009-09-02T20:12:00.002+08:00

Time is no longer a luxury to me, it has slowly morphed into a rarity.

Thinking of how I managed to cope with 72hours in a day back in my uni days, I thought I really did a fantastic job (then), probably it has to be age too. Now that I'm slightly older, I dun seem to be able to keep up to it. I guess I probably have to lose a little to gain more. I wonder how long do I have to wait for this.

4 months more for me to fulfill my new year's resolution, and i do not want another wasted year to feel like I set a goal but did not achieve it, but my egging arm injury still do not want to go away. =(

Suddenly, lately I start to feel afraid from leaving this world. Thinking how I have not fully experience the opportunity of a life, also I can't bear to allow my parents to leave after me. I wonder where this sudden feeling came from. I reckoned it must be the white hair I saw on my mum's head, and also the many unfortunate incidents that happen recently.

Good thing is that I started on doing things that I truly believe in, rather than conforming to the social settings. Learn to love myself a little bit more, but also to remember to give unselfishy even more.

Today, I embarked on a new journey, and I hope the ending is as sweet as to why I even started it.

Now I start to remember again...I took 11 CCAs when I was in year 1 in uni. And right now, I think I'm taking 11 Modules and CCAs all in one. I wonder what the result will be like....

Addictive Relationship

2009-08-28T00:16:00.002+08:00

What is an Addictive Relationship?
According to Terence Gorski in Why Do I Keep Doing That? an addictive relationship involves one person who is self-centered and extremely independent. This partner (let's call him Selfish Sam - but it could just as easily be Selfish Sally) believes he's entitled to whatever he wants whenever he wants it. He surrounds himself with people who support his opinions of himself. The other partner (we'll call her Dependant Debbie but it could be Dependent Darren) is dependent and other-centered, and willing to mirror whatever the first partner wants. She's simply a reflection of him. This is how addictive relationships work.

About addictive relationships Gorski says, "It works until the other-centered person runs out of steam one night and doesn't have enough energy to mirror back what is needed. The relationship is going to blow up. Addictive relationships do not necessarily have to have self-centered and other-centered partners, but it's the norm."

7 Signs of Addictive Relationships
Dishonesty. Neither Sam nor Debbie talks about who they are or what's really bothering them. They lie about what they want. This turns communication into an addictive relationship.

Unrealistic expectations. Both Sam and Debbie think the other will solve their self-esteem, body image, family, and existential problems. They believe the "right relationship" will make everything better. Yet, they're in a disastrous addictive relationship.

Instant gratification. Sam expects Debbie to be there for him whenever he needs her; he needs her to make him happy immediately. He's using her to make him feel good, and isn't relating to her as a partner or even a human being. She's a like drug. An addictive relationship drug.

Compulsive control. Debbie has to act a certain way, or Sam will threaten to leave her. Both feel pressure to stay in this addictive relationship; neither feel like they're together voluntarily.

Lack of trust. Neither partner trusts the other to be there when the chips are down. They don't believe the other really loves them, and they don't believe genuine caring or liking exists. At some level they know they're not in a healthy but rather in an addictive relationship.

Social isolation. Nobody else is invited into their relationship – not friends, family, or work acquaintances. People in addictive relationships want to be left alone.

Cycle of pain. Sam and Debbie are trapped in a cycle of pleasure, pain, disillusionment, blaming, and reconnection. The cycle repeats itself until one partner breaks free of the addictive relationship.

Addictive relationships can change, if both partners are self-aware and willing to do what it takes. In some cases an objective viewpoint (such as counseling) helps; other times, self-control and mutual accountability are all that's needed to turn the addictive relationship around.

Tonight i missed u

2009-08-18T00:30:00.002+08:00

can't help but to feel that i missed u tonite.

i hate it when it didnt last. i knew the move that i made wld probably be the only thing that i have regretted thus far in my life. i have no word from u since.

i truly miss you and i wish u well.

Whatever happens in Vegas

2009-08-15T01:59:00.003+08:00

Finally rewarded myself from a hard week's work with a movie.

Gosh, I just watched this movie on my com and I must admit that im a sucker for all these chix movies. im always happen at the end for the people in these movies....is like the feeling of awwwwwww..................

if only life could as dreamy and lovely like what it is in the movie...

then again, whats stopping this to happen in reality? =p

Early Morning Entry

2009-08-13T02:56:00.003+08:00

Couldn't sleep at 3am in the morning though I have to work later. Feeling all so surreal. Thinking of how beautiful everything is/CAN BE.

I feel this is all coming back. The one that I have lost. I'm glad I found you again. It better be you because I would rather you do not come back than to come back half-heartedly. Never have I felt that you since the day I lost you, but lately the tell-tale signs are strong. I guess it was all taken for granted for the longest of time.

The question is, when did I ever lose you? I thought I have you all along, how can I have possibly lost you. One can only wonder. But thank god I found you again!!!

I guess the trip to the science center helps. The Leonardo Da Vinci exhibition was all but exciting. I did not learn anything interesting that I already did not know, but the good take away is that I learn that my trip to europe makes me piece many things together, at least for this part of the history of Leonardo Da Vinci. What traveling brought me (directly or indirectly) are the many good things like knowing more about history, geography, people, Friends, business, culture, etc which of course outweigh the bad experience. Then all these made me think again why in the first place I wanted to travel. Definitely is not for the reasons I mentioned.

I know it was a dream that I set for myself because I wanted to embark on something meaningful. When I say meaningful, it is suppose to be like a "wow" factor, more than a experiential experience like that I have mentioned. It was really an "achievement-driven" kinda wish to travel, but i reckoned the take-away is so much more. I wondered what would be like if I embarked in something different. errr, like start working after i grad? or maybe work overseas (which have been always my dream)? or maybe to continue studying?

at this point of time, it feels so good to be right on track, and to share the success with you. Thank you for coming back, and I know I can count on you when I need to. u have been mine and yours pillar of strength and support. U held back my tears and turn them into strength, u made me do things that I wouldn't have thot is possible, you made me do things that I do not like well and things that I like better. u made me too nice sometimes, but u are equally balanced to make me a badboy at times too. u made me feel that life is definitely worth living for, and as much respect I should give to it, I should learn to relax and have fun. i won't say i miss you, partly becoz I thot you were here all along, but is good to know that you are here though you have been gone for a long time.

Let's have another egotrip, shall we? and I know what you gonna say next, and stop telling me how gd u are. juz prove to me now that despite being so gd, u are still able to keep your feet to the ground, this is my next challenge to you, and also, u are so not going get rid of me, i warn you, or fear me getting rid of you too.

If you are marrying Miss Right for yourself, then you are Mr Wrong

2009-08-03T16:55:00.001+08:00

Home > ST Forum > Online Story

WITH reference to last Thursday's letter by Focus On The Family, 'Why we value marriage but behave as if we don't', marriage is a commitment to another individual and has nothing to do with self-fulfilment. That is why the number of divorces is rising and so many Singaporeans are in trouble with it.

If you marry Mr or Miss Right for yourself, then you are very wrong. Marriage is not about finding the right partner (especially not one that fits your 'profile'), it is about giving unconditional love to someone you hold dear, and celebrating it when the love and commitment are mutual.

Sadly, many men and women pick and choose the right partner as if it was a home or a car. Even worse, some spend more time and effort choosing a home or a car.

Sex and romance are seriously over-rated - they are just the icing on the cake.
Love, although free, is one of the most valuable and precious things we humans possess. One of the greatest things in life is the gift of love, and the greatest gift of love anyone can give another individual is the promise and commitment to stay with him or her forever. 'Marriage' is the common term for this expression that is recognised by all races and religions.

It is baloney that cohabitation is the free expression of such unconditional love (with no strings attached), yet so many have failed to see why almost all cohabiting couples eventually go their separate ways.

I know from experience that just the warm embrace of my loving wife and children is one of the most effective de-stressing tools. So go hug your loved ones.
Syu Ying Kwok

Be happy with what you have and more will come your way

2009-08-03T16:48:00.003+08:00

PEACE OF MIND
If you were to ask your neighbour,
"What would give you peace of mind?" he might tell you,
"A vacation in Bermuda !" or
"An extra hundred grand would give me peace!", or
"A new Ferrari would make me content!"

But going places – and getting stuff – it is usually a temporary solution ...
Peace of mind rarely comes from getting more stuff.
Getting more stuff usually leads to wanting even more stuff!
Peace of mind starts with being grateful for what we have right now.

GRATITUDE is POWER
When we are thankful for what we have - for the friends we have, and for the things we've got, we attract more good people and good things!

People who always complain about what they DON'T HAVE, stay stuck. Complainers attract more things to complain about! It is a law of life. It's hard to explain, but you can observe it around you. We get more of what we dwell upon.

That's why all the spiritual masters have taught the same lesson ...
"Start by being thankful. Be happy with what you have now, and more will come your way."

It's practical advice.
Every time you say a silent "thank you" you become more peaceful – and more empowered.

Coffee Hangover

2009-08-03T10:10:00.004+08:00

Argh, the coffee that I had on sat nite made me had a hangover on sunday, and it was that bad it almost killed me on sunday.

i slept prematurely early last night, and didnt really have a good nite sleep.

i'm definitely allergic to coffee. NO COFFEE FOR ME AGAIN. argh.

this is what i need

2009-08-02T03:59:00.002+08:00

after a taxing week of illness and injuries, i finally get to do some serious sports today. well, if u consider golf as a serious sport first. =p finally didnt get burnt for the first time, all thanks me being able to remember to apply sun-block at all cost. my skin is like peeling badly from last week's batam visit.

i haben been so sick for a long time, and i was perpetually sleeping everywhere i go. and it is definitely not the medication, i wondered what make me so sleepy. my friend told me that i fall asleep on her last nite, and i thot we ended the conversation, thats how sleepish i was.

got home not too long from coffee with my friend. yes, is like 4am. and i just love walking on the streets at nite, driving at nite, and listening to the calmness of the supposed bustling city in the day. the peacesfulness cum the traquility which i thot i was only able to enjoy when i was overseas, but i find myself soaking the feeling of it.

got a pretty quality meet up with my friend and was funny how we found out we SHARED some exact similar life experiences, in a rather amusing way when we looked back. we chatted, gossiped and of coz visited the toilet many times... didnt know that we never meet up with each other for 4 years, we still have not lost touch with each other at all.

n then i pondered...im thankful for all the friends i have, life would be so much less interesting without them. i got a message from one of my BEST friend who told me that she re-read our skol day messages and was thankful that i chalked up most of her skol days life and i was glad she was in my life too. those days that i treated her like a real brother, till i attended her wedding last year, albeit awkward, coz i nv thot my 'brother' would eventually get married. but still thankful for the great times we share.

im actually very random in typing this post, but i think the essence of it all is that tonight, i was able to enjoy the night in the raw state without any inhibition. did my favourite spending a little bit of me-time. it was gold. i hope every weekend can be as such in time to come.

my CEO caught me reading recruit page today and asked me if im looking for a job, i looked at him and started laughing, and i continued reading. lolx. deep inside me, i know i will definitely not join a competitor, coz i know i love my company too much to do such thing, but never say never. browsing thru the recruit page was a deliberate effort on my part to help some of my friends to look for job openings coz they are so unhappy abt their job.

thot of the week: do i know what i want? yes, probably abt 50%. but i definitely know what i DO NOT want. for that, it is 100%.

so to link to this topic, i need to know what i DO NOT want and act on IT. whatever i want, doesnt really matter. whatever i want, i can live without. but i cannot live without what i NEED.

is official

2009-07-27T01:37:00.003+08:00

the first time i fall really sick ever since dunno when. I have like fever, very bad cold and very bad cough all at the same time. Not including the fact that i'm immobilised due to some rare occurence. doc says i can't play sports for 2 weeks if not i risk surgery, thats how bad it is.

i will still fight to go work tml. so so sick. argh!!!

sorrie guys that im have to give a raincheck if im meeting u this week. i really do feel that is seriously contageous.

have a go at life

2009-07-23T10:18:00.006+08:00

my poor friend was so upset when she found out things of her ex-bf have done. Been trying to calm her down for like 2 days already, hopefully things get better for her. I told her that things will only get better from here, and i think she finds it hard to believe at this point of time, and i know why. Is the point that u feel that u need to be sad and angry and u juz wanna live in it.

everytime when i think about what actually happened i felt the same way too. Perhaps, i'm a softie to just let it go. i want to live the point of my life and feel it again.

perhaps, thats whats life entails.

past few weeks was filled with amazing ups and not so bad downs. somehow I felt I have lost myself, dreams and aspirations for the past one year. worked has sucked me. relationship has sucked me too. but thank god, i came back and realized that there are more important things I need to do to make my life count as something that is worth living for.

I went on and on when I was talking about my traveling trip with penguin last nite. i so look forward for my next big trip. I wonder when it will be and would like to have a go at it again, assuming if time and space allow.

there is a reason for all our existence in this world. everyone is trying to find it, im glad i have found mine in my early years, and would like to go thru it.

there are only a few priorities in my life, god, family, friends, sports and travel. i dun think it is hard achieve, i have even taken career out of my priorities. =p

side tracking, but i juz say a fantasy that comes into life. na()m!l!u. go figure and find out.

Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5

2009-07-21T14:42:00.001+08:00

I wake up with blood-shot eyes
Struggled to memorize
The way it felt between your thighs
Pleasure that made you cry
Feels so good to be bad
Not worth the aftermath, after that
After that
Try to get you back

I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you

Give me something to believe in
Cause I don't believe in you anymore Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to try(Yeah)
So this is goodbye

God damn my spinning head
Decisions that made my bed
Now I must lay in it
And deal with things I left unsaid
I want to dive into you
Forget what you're going through
I get behind, make your move
Forget about the truth

I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you

Give me something to believe in
Cause I don't believe in you anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference,
It even makes a difference to try
And you told me how you're feeling
But I don't believe it's true anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry(Oh no)
So this is goodbye

I've been here before
One day I'll wake up
And it won't hurt anymore
You caught me in a lie
I have no alibi
The words you say don't have a meaning
Cause

I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you
And I...and so this is goodbye

Give me something to believe in
Cause I don't believe in you anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference,
It even makes a difference to try
And you told me how you're feeling
But I don't believe it's true anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
So this is goodbye
So this is goodbye, yeah [x3]
(Oh no)

how to lose a guy in 10 days?

2009-07-14T19:33:00.001+08:00

what makes u think u have him in the first place? =p

round the world

2009-07-14T19:23:00.002+08:00

im so happy to learn that many of my friends will be embarking on the journey to experience life ard the world. can't wait for the many more updates they gonna give me. i can again see the world, but this time, thru the eyes of all my friends.

i treasured my time globe-throttling, and i wished my friends enjoy the experience too.

this journey definitely out-weighs any opportunity cost that you might have.

trust me.

u live life only once. =)

afraid to be hurt

2009-07-14T00:09:00.001+08:00

had a conversation with a friend of mine not too long ago, and she expresses her concern of being hurt again in a new relationship. immediately i drew a parallel concern that i faced, and i pondered....

i guess i was nv afraid to begin with, but wat makes me feel that way? maybe it was because of the recency effect??? after some great thots that I had at the range just now, i guess i wasn't and will not be afraid of being hurt. Regardless, hurt is part of the process of living. One can never be hurt too much, however, one can feel that they have been hurt too much. See the difference? =p

If it is meant to be, it is meant to be, y play god and try to avoid the inevitable. Why not let your hair down and enjoy the process. =p

Allow me to quote Rocky Balboa... "Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!"

In life, it is really not how hard you fall, is about how you get hit and keep moving forward. Pain is only temporary. Satisfaction may not be guranteed but one thing for sure, you can and will only do better from there.

If you are afraid to be hurt, you will start to be afraid to love. And when you are afraid to love, you basically lose the purpose of your glorified life. We live to love, and love we must. Love not only thyself, but thy family, close friends but also, even your enemies.

Love is a big word, but it only contains 4 letters. why can it be so hard to love? Hurt is a BIG word too, and it contains 4 letters too. can both coexist together? I would say yes for the ultimate fact that He died on the cross for us, he was hurt physically, to mentally and even spiritually and yet, he still love us just as much.

go forth and spread thy love. LOVE HURTS but you should still LOVE HURT.

An Interview with Rick Warren (Author of 'Purpose Drive Life)

2009-07-13T15:54:00.000+08:00

You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having 'wealth' from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren,'Purpose Driven Life ' author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California

In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:

People ask me, What is the purpose of life?

And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me.I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going ! to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.

We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort; God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.

We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.This past year has been t he greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.
I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for..

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems:If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, which is my problem, my issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her- It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.

Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives! you mon ey or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.
So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit.. We made no major purchases.

Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.

Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.

Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do.That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD. .

Gonna be a good weekend

2009-07-10T18:20:00.003+08:00

It has been busy busy busy for me for the past weekends man. I have travelled out of Singapore for the all my weekends for the last one month, and I must tell you, it was great fun.

This week, I yearned for some good rest.....

I'm looking forward to sort my mails for the longest of time, and those photos that I have taken.

Once again, thank you all for being there. And for those of you who are not there? where are you?? I hope to see you really soon~~~~~~~~~

:)

2009-07-10T10:53:00.000+08:00

1. Losing all your friends
Man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend and kills him. Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends."

2. Brother wanted
A small boy wrote to Santa Claus,"send me a brother"....
Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"....

3. Meaning of WIFE
Husband asks, "Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means 'Without Information Fighting Everytime'!"
Wife replies, "No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!"

4. Importance of a period
Teacher: "Do you know the importance of a period?"
Kid: "Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away."

5. Confident vs. Confidential
A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident and confidential?" Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential! "

6. Anger management
Husband: "When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?"
Wife: "I clean the toilet."
Husband: "How does that help?"
Wife: "I use your toothbrush."

what is wrong?

2009-07-07T00:42:00.002+08:00

as i started with this blog, i juz want to share as much of my life as possible to my close friends and also for myself to recap on the days that i had so much fun or have been really down.

the recent -ve thots isnt what my blog is all abt. juz penning down my thots, in case if in the future i may wanna revisit it. ahem.

and yes that the past few weeks aint easy for me, probably im being put to a test by Him and i'm sure there will be a sunshine after the rain.

last week, i thought if anyone was to be given my position would be definitely be at the top of the work, popping champagnes and celebrating the achievement, but not me, not me when I am supposed to feel this way for the many things that happen last week. Last week would be one of the milestones in my life that when I look back, i would have confidently said that this is the week that it all happened and made me what im now and in the future.

and no, i wasnt happy, in fact i was pretty nonchalent and wld love to be left alone amist all these happenings. and then i ask y? no answers....

didnt quite feel myself, and quite often i fell into a deep sense of starring into spaces and thinking about nothing, and appearing quite oblivious to the surroundings, for reasons that I dunno.

probably i juz need to find myself AGAIN. =p

LOVE

2009-06-27T00:25:00.000+08:00

There is always someone in the world waiting for someone else, whether in the middle of the desert or in the heart of some big city. And when these two people’s paths cross and their eyes meet, the whole of the past and the whole of the future lose all importance, and there only
exists that moment and that incredible certainty that everything under the Sun was written by the very same Hand. The Hand that awakens Love and creates a sister soul for everyone who works, rests and seeks treasures under the Sun. Were it not for this, the dreams of the human race would make no sense.

Happiess is a journey, not a destination

2009-06-26T11:00:00.000+08:00

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married,
have a baby, then another.
Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are.
After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with.
We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.
We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire.
The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now.
If not now, when?

Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.
One of my favorite quotes comes from Alfred D. Souza. He said,
"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life".

This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.
So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time...and remember that time waits for no one.
So, stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you die, until you are born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy.

Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

2009-06-26T00:05:00.002+08:00

"We should stop seeing each other" and "I wish you could be here to hold me"

Great contemplation between the mind and the heart.

how do u noe if it is worth it?

2009-06-25T23:51:00.002+08:00

im at this junction of my life where I have to make LIFE decisions that will affect my future. What the outcome may be is not the thing that scares me, but what I have to go thru may frighten me a little.

"When was the last time I make a big sacrifice not for myself", I asked myself. I was thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking, and everything that I could think of, it all comes back in a way or another that I only made sacrifices for myself (directly or indirectly). "Not even for people that I have loved?", i asked myself again. Unfortunately, the answer is still the same.

But i did make lotsa sacrifices for myself and I'm happy that I did the many things that I have done, because I do not know if it is worth it, but I know every little thing counts, and add on the my life long experience.

The ideal of this blog is that, I'm here at this cross-road, about to make a couple of the biggest decision in my life, and I'm so willing to give up all my comfortable living and riches for it, I do not even care if at the end of the day i do get a positive outcome, but I do care that I will thoroughly enjoy the whole process.

And I have made up my mind to move ahead....

However, when it comes to matters that requires two minds, I still believe it takes 2 hands to clap. And I feel that, fate is definitely testing me big time.

I'm definitely letting u getting rid of me.

I pray for...

2009-06-24T09:29:00.002+08:00

alright, penguin is going thru a little rough patch in its life right now, and i pray that things will only works out better for it. And we will soon see a healthy and cute penguin once again...

...then we shall also see a nicely cooked penguin on my table for a big feast. Yum yum.

***A W@lK +♡ R3mEM8eR***